He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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