Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
