This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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