I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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