I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
