i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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