I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
