OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
