I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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