no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
