your thong is hanging out like whoa
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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