I'm pants shitting drunk right now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
