wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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