a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
