Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
