i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
