I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
