i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
