forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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