So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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