STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
