I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
