porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
