the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
