Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
