i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
