Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
