I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
