doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
