Non-Jews are for practice
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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