I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
did you just send me my own nude
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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