chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
