She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
