I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize