he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
