we're chasing vodka with high fives
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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