she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
They have beer where we have blood.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
