he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
