I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
