Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize