I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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