Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
