What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
