thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
