I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
