I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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