You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
