I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
