Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
