I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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