All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He shit in the fireplace
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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