so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
