sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
