i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
