she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
