I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
