You're earring is so big in my mouth
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
