Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
