Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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