hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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