at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
