Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
