Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
