worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
how drunk are you?
Several
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
