I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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