There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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