How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
