Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Houston, we have a squirter
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
