Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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